conservative vs. liberal
Got this in an email the other day; thought it was pretty much to the point:
If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn’t buy one. If a liberal doesn't like guns, then he thinks no one should have one.
If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat. If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants to ban all meat products for everyone.
If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy. A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.
If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly enjoys his life. If a liberal is homosexual, he loudly demands legislated respect.
If a black man or Hispanic is conservative, he sees himself as independently successful. His liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government protection.
If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation. A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.
If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels. A liberal demands that those he doesn’t like be shut down.
If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it. A liberal demands that his neighbors pay for his.
If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church. A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced. (Unless it's a foreign religion, of course!)
If a conservative slips and falls in a store, he gets up, laughs and is embarrassed. If a liberal slips and falls, he grabs his neck, moans like he's in labor and then sues.
If a conservative reads this, he will forward it so his friends can have a good laugh. A liberal will delete it because he is "offended".